My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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