I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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