I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
