just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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