I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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