it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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