Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
