I hope mine doesn't look like that
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
