I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
