My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
