Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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