I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
