So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
