Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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