ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
