Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
