Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Of course I have a pirate flag
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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