So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
50% drunk capacity currently
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
