i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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