we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
