just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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