Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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