If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
