at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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