If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
