her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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