I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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