do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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