Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
