My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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