forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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