she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
