I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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