I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
