I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Girls should come with a carfax report
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
