On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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