i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
