You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
