hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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