and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
