yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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