i don't like sucking hair
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
