Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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