oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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