The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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