return my video game
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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