Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
