you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
