Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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