yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
