I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
