Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I cut my penus on the lid.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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