So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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