I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
