I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
