margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
